By Dr. Jonathan Isibor.
Renowned sociologists and social scientists such as Auguste Comte, Emile Durkheim, Hebert Spencer, Ibn Khaldun, Max Weber, and Karl Marx have defined the term Society from different perspectives, but I will, for the purpose of this article, summarize the term “society” as a highly structured system of human organization constituted for the purpose of communal living that normally provides protection, continuity, business interactions, security, and a national identity for its members.
Individuals from different backgrounds normally constitute the society. On the other hand the human family has been described as an organization made up of individuals. The human family essentially developed from marital relationship.
In spite of the grim features of marital engagement, many people are celebrating their ways into this troubled relationship, often times with lofty expectations, unrealistic hopes and dreams.
The breakdown and separation in marital relationship has become a global scandal affecting both rich and poor, a reflection that marital breakdown knows no bounds.
Startling statistics of divorce, separation, desertion, domestic violence, baby dumping, etc, exist everywhere.
Let me however emphasize that these observations notwithstanding, the family unit is expected to be an Eldorado, a place where peace reigns; a unit where intimate love is displayed; a meeting place of minds where unity in diversity is best exemplified among its members.
It is the basic unit of society. The need for stable families therefore becomes very imperative. It is logical therefore to assume that stable families make up a sane and stable nation. Of the three partners having a stake in any family unit —-the father, the mother, and the child—none, but the mother, usually plays the most important role in the ultimate success story of any family.
The woman by her natural endowment is supposed to be the hub around which the wheel of progress within any society revolves.
In the present so-called civilized societies, where moral decadence, sexual abuse, financial mismanagement in high places, child abuse, poverty, mass illiteracy, high crime rate and high rates of divorces, those whose opinions it is that the woman is the light of the family, have postulated a powerful thesis, which I will like to totally agree with and expatiate upon in the foregoing discourse.
Now, when we say that the woman is the light of the family, what nature of light are we referring to? When we close our eyes for a few minutes, for instance, what do we see? Certainly nothing but total darkness! In real life no one sees properly in total darkness. In some philosophical discussions, darkness is regarded as synonymous with negative tendencies (vices) such as those highlighted above, and which have deeply permeated the social and moral fabrics of many human societies!
But light dispels this darkness. In our day-to-day living experience we attribute this light to either of two sources, the natural sun and fire.
We know the immense values of these sources of light to human life. History tells us how the early man discovered fire and the immense benefits that followed such a discovery. We know too well that the greatest source of energy in our Solar system is the sun.
Information from classical literature relates that the mystical use of fire goes back at least to the birth of Zoroastrianism, somewhere around the 10th Century B.C.
Ever since, man has been aware that the flame had a mystical character that made it far more than a simple source of heat and light; fire has become the basis of worship consecrated to all those laws and principles by which the universal good can manifest on earth.
That is why, for millennia, every temple dedicated to divinity has, in one form or another, had a sacred place where a perpetual fire burned.
Because of its symbolism, the fire that burned in the sanctuary of the temple was not allowed to go out for any reason, for if this were to happen, it could manifest unpleasant consequences; permitting the triumph of evil over good.
Certain persons were then assigned the responsibility of perpetually tendering the flame. A good example of this practice can still be found in Rosicrucian sacred Temples all over the world where undefiled, pretty, intelligent, honest, chaste and respectable young girls (referred to as Colombes), are chosen to tender such flame.
Symbolically, they represent the Divine light that shines in us. The Colombe also symbolizes the finest virtue of the human soul and the royal way that we must follow to develop these virtues within ourselves.
Now let us imaging or visualize each of our womenfolk displaying most of the virtues of the Colombes in their individual homes! Certainly, the world would have been a most lovely and more peaceful place to live in.
One cannot but appreciate the unique role of the average woman in creation. In an ideal situation a woman is expected to assume the dual responsibility of a wife, as well as a mother within the family unit.
In playing any of these roles successfully, the woman cannot but constantly seek Divine light and at the same time radiate this light to the advantage of others within and outside the family unit.
Just as we have this fire as the source of light in the temple, so it is that the Conscience of every woman must ceaselessly help to sustain the light of the world.
A MOTHER’S INFLUENCE OVER THE CHILD
It is aptly remarked that children of today are leaders of tomorrow. The mother is the most influential agent to shape the child from birth and direct him towards becoming all that God created him to be.
A woman, through her positive characters and spiritual qualities can make a home, while she could also, through her careless and carefree attitude destroy her home.
From the poet’s corner, William Ross Wallace asserted that “the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world”.
A house becomes a home only to the extent a woman makes it so! It has been said that home or family is the primeval school, the best, the most hallowed, and the most potential of all academies and that the mother is the first, the most influential, and therefore the most important of all teachers.
She is the light of the world. Mothers exercise most far-reaching influence over their children. They are largely responsible for their successes and failures; they are the molders of men and women who either build or wreck nations.
The then President Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunga quoted Kenyan Bishop Ndimbe’s memorable words: “Train a man, you train an individual, train a woman you build a nation.”
This is the same as saying that the “hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” At infancy, childhood, manhood, and old age alike, a child looks to his mother for inspiration. Abraham Lincoln once remarked, “All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my mother.”
Andrew Carnegie, the millionaire, said “I am deeply touched by the remembrance of one to whom I owe everything that a wise mother ever gave to a son who adore her”.
Thomas Edison, one of America’s greatest inventors, has this to say of his mother “I did not have my mother long, but she cast over me an influence which has lasted all my life.
The good effects of her only training I can never lose. If it has not been for her appreciation and faith in me at a critical time in my experience, I should never likely have become an inventor.
I was always a careless boy…….. I should have turned out badly, but her firmness, her sweetness, her goodness were potent powers to keep me in the right path. My mother was the making of me.”
Every woman should in her quiet moment ask: “what would I want my children to say of me? What would I want my husband to cherish me for? How am I tendering the light of Cosmic Wisdom entrusted unto me as a woman?
These are very pertinent questions, because in the contemporary world of today, many a woman have gone in pursuit of women liberation activities, position in politics, honor and fame in career, profession, and business etc.
I do not have a problem with this, because we live in a competitive world where everyone is free to use her God-given talents. But what I am not comfortable with is a situation where the woman abandons her home and the divinely assigned role of motherhood in pursuit of materialism.
Let me now highlight those attributes that could assist every woman fan to greater radiance the light with which she is entrusted for the benefit of her family and the world at large.
Acquisition of Right Education: Our womenfolks need a lot of encouragement in order to successfully fulfill their role in the home.
The job of parenting is certainly not an easy one. Motherhood requires skill, involves risk, and consumes labor, time and energy. Let me share, with you the experience of a young woman, as narrated by G. Lanigan.
“One of the troubles about being a wife and mother is that you are always being promoted. If a girl is a good secretary, for example, she can hardly continue in that job for years.
No one tries to push her into management. No one is anxious to promote her. But get married and you are not allowed to sit back comfortably in the same job for long.
You are scarcely out of your wedding dress when you are promoted to the job of homemaker and are expected to be skilled as a color coordinator, interior decorator, expert on home economics, cook. It helps (too) if you can pick up a few clues on male psychology.
You have scarcely qualified in these fields of endeavors before you are promoted once again to the career of mothering.
The endless tasks and skills that mothering calls for have been often listed…..nurse, pediatrician, psychologist, kindergarten teacher, etc.
The second serial of this article would be published next week.
Dr. Jonathan Isibor is an Associate Professor of Microbiology at Ambrose Alli University, Ekpoma, Edo State of Nigeria. He can be reached at: joe_isibor@yahoo.com
